" take that rage, put it on a page, take the page to the stage, blow the roof off the place "

"If You Could See Me Now"

(Oh if you could see me now)

(Oh if you could see me now)

It was February 14 Valentine's Day
The roses came but they took you away
Tattooed on my arm is a charm to disarm all the harm
Gotta keep myself calm but the truth is you're gone
And I'll never get to show you these songs
Dad you should see the tours that I'm on
I see you standing there next to Mom
Both singing along, yeah arm in arm
And there are days when I'm losing my faith
Because the man wasn't good he was great
He'd say "Music was the home for your pain"
And explained I was young, he would say
Take that rage, put it on a page
Take the page to the stage
Blow the roof off the place
I'm trying to make you proud
Do everything you did
I hope you're up there with God saying "That's my kid!"

[Chorus:]
I still look for your face in the crowd
Oh if you could see me now (Oh if you could see me now)
Would you stand in disgrace or take a bow
Oh if you could see me now (Oh if you could see me now)

(Oh if you could see me now)

If you could see me now would you recognize me?
Would you pat me on the back or would you criticize me?
Would you follow every line on my tear-stained face
Put your hand on a heart that was cold
As the day you were taken away?
I know it's been a while but I can see you clear as day
Right now, I wish I could hear you say
I drink too much, and I smoke too much dutch
But if you can't see me now that shit's a must
You used to say I wont know a wind until it crossed me
Like I wont know real love 'til I've loved and I've lost it
So if you've lost a sister, someone's lost a mom
And if you've lost a dad then someone's lost a son
And they're all missing out, yeah they're all missing out
So if you get a second to look down on me now
Mom, Dad I'm just missing you now

I still look for your face in the crowd
Oh if you could see me now (Oh if you could see me now)
Would you stand in disgrace or take a bow
Oh if you could see me now (Oh if you could see me now)

Oh, oh
Would you call me a saint or a sinner?
Would you love me a loser or winner?
Oh, oh
When I see my face in the mirror
We look so alike that it makes me shiver

I still look for your face in the crowd
Oh if you could see me now (Oh if you could see me now)
Would you stand in disgrace or take a bow
Oh if you could see me now (Oh if you could see me now)
Yeah I'm just missing you now

  -the script- if you could see me now-

A smile lined her lips, so soft i almost missed it...

Then i knew she would remember the young lady that helped her with her bags.

We are living in a society that continues to degrade in social etiquette; one that is devoid of 'small acts of kindness'.

Gone are the days i couldn't spot an old man standing in a bus, for someone had given  up their seat for him.

Gone are the days i would get scolded by mama Wachira for being out late, Mama Wachira not being my mother.

This society has allowed foul language in the name of 'sheng' to pollute the minds of those that were taught that A,B,C were the ABC's of life.

The society has allowed short skirts and cold legs, exposed breasts and sick chests; over-sized trousers and exposed undergarments.

The leaders of the society have turned into trend setters where these 'trends' are violence, corruption and immorality;  unreasonable competition, visible falsehood, unfulfilled promises.

Bring back the society that cared enough to talk out loud. 

A society where one honest voice was enough to bring about change.

A society of communal parenting.

A sane society. 

immy.apiyo

She walks down the street..and even the oak tree cant help but stare..her elegant sway and soft poise. step...step..and the long endless road can do nothing but embrace her steps and ..guide her to the end where she meets him. as her white gown sweeps through the isle,the warm gay crowd cant help but smile, because she looks simply ..dashing.He knows she's his but cant shake the feeling..that feeling of not being worthy of her...of her love..her smile.But when she draws closer to the alter and holds her hand out to him,and he clasps them into his,he knows with certainty that she is and will always be..his

He smiles at her, shiley as though he was meeting her for the first time,
She stiffens her grip on his hand, and a cold chill runs down his spine.
He remembers proposing to her...on that warm Sunday evening,
Not sure that she would find him worthy of such great honor,
But, she said yes! and kissed him.
And now, all his fantasies were coming true, straight from the books...
The guests, the wedding cake, the elegant clothes and jealous suitors,
They were all here to witness him take her home...forever.

And i stand there at the extreme rear..biting at my nails nervously like a five year old,waiting for that moment..my chest thumps and my heart jumps.. Aaa!what we do for love..as the two head to the alter..to the gate opening their years of happiness,.i gather courage and with an outburst "yes..i do..i object to this union.i too deserve a shot at happiness ..don't i? " The once gay crowd turns violent..and i turn into an evil wicked stepsister..they stare..so hard at me...drops of tears drip down my face as i stare hopefully at the groom..the man i once considered ...mine...no hope.. i turn to flee ..then i hear him..he calls out to me...he calls me!!

I stand there, baffled beyond words, foolish almost.
A sarcastic jittery smile covers my face. 
Then I gain the courage to turn around, slowly like I was expecting the ground below me to pulverize.
My once loving and caring "one" walks right up to me, holds my shaking and sweaty hands and says,
"I'm sorry D. It's over, It's been over. You had your chance with me, and you were smart enough to let me fall. But God sent me someone, who was foolish enough to catch me. Please, go home, we have vows to make."
His words stung like a blizzard on my forehead. My stomach turned and I heard my brain laugh at me. What a loser!, it said.

story by apiyo and molly omolo

i.am.sorry.

i said yes

you asked me, and i said yes

why i did it, i do not know

but days ,months later, i wish i didn't

see,... i wish i said 'no' and hurt you then

rather than say 'no' now and hurt you even more...rather than saying yes, but my heart yearning for another

why i kept smiling, i do not know

why i kept saying 'i love you' i cannot fathom

i wish i had let you go...

be with someone that said 'i love you' and meant in

someone that said 'i miss you' and really did